SELF-CARE FOR THE CAREGIVER

WHAT IS A CAREGIVER?

A caregiver is anyone who regularly provides assistance to another person who cannot completely care for themselves because of illness, disability, injury, aging, cognitive impairment, or another condition.

• Bathing, dressing, grooming, and toileting
• Preparing meals
• Managing medications
• Transportation to medical appointments
• Shopping and household responsibilities
• Managing finances
• Coordinating medical care
• Providing supervision and safety monitoring
• Providing companionship and emotional support
• Advocating for the person’s healthcare and personal needs

Some caregivers provide a few hours of assistance each week. Others provide care 24 hours a day, seven days a week.

Many people become caregivers gradually and may not even identify themselves as caregivers. They simply see themselves as a spouse, daughter, son, parent, relative, or friend doing what needs to be done.

But caregiving is still work—and caregivers need care too.

WHAT IS CAREGIVER BURNOUT?

Caregiver burnout is a state of physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion that may occur after prolonged periods of caregiving stress.

There is a difference between caregiver stress and caregiver burnout.

Caregiver stress may sound like: “I have too much to do.”

Caregiver burnout may sound like: “I don’t know how much longer I can do this.”

Burnout often develops gradually. The caregiver may continue functioning because there seems to be no other choice. However, continuing to ignore the warning signs can eventually affect the caregiver’s physical health, emotional health, relationships, employment, and ability to provide safe care.

WARNING SIGNS OF CAREGIVER BURNOUT

Caregiver burnout can look different from person to person. Possible warning signs include:

• Feeling tired or exhausted most of the time
  
• Difficulty sleeping or sleeping excessively
  
• Becoming easily irritated, angry, or impatient
  
• Feeling overwhelmed
  
• Anxiety or excessive worrying
  
• Persistent sadness
  
• Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness
  
• Difficulty concentrating or forgetfulness
  
• Headaches, muscle tension, or other physical complaints
  
• Changes in appetite or weight
  
• Loss of interest in activities once enjoyed
  
• Avoiding friends and family or feeling isolated
  
• Neglecting personal hygiene or appearance
  
• Missing your own medical appointments
  
• Increasing use of alcohol, medications, or other substances to cope
  
• Resenting the person receiving care
  
• Feeling guilty for wanting time away
  
• Feeling that no one else can provide care correctly
  
• Losing compassion or emotional connection
  
• Feeling as though caregiving has consumed your entire identity
  

Experiencing one of these symptoms does not necessarily mean that you have caregiver burnout. However, several symptoms occurring consistently may indicate that it is time to seek additional support.

CAREGIVER SELF-CHECK: AM I HEADING TOWARD BURNOUT?

During the past few weeks, ask yourself:

If you answered yes to several of these questions, consider it a signal—not a personal failure. Your body and mind may be telling you that the current caregiving arrangement is no longer sustainable without additional support.

Talk with your healthcare provider and begin developing a plan to protect your own health and well-being.

WHY CAREGIVERS SOMETIMES DON’T ASK FOR HELP

One of the biggest challenges caregivers face is accepting help. You may tell yourself:

• “Nobody knows them like I do.”
• “They only want me to take care of them.”
• “I promised I would always take care of them.”
• “My family should help without me having to ask.”
• “I don’t want strangers in my home.”
• “I feel guilty leaving them.”
• “I’m the strong one. I should be able to handle this.”

But being strong does not mean doing everything alone. Sometimes strength means recognizing when the situation requires additional hands.

ASK FOR SPECIFIC HELP

Instead of saying, “I need some help,” try making a specific request:

• “Can you stay with Mom Saturday from 1:00 to 4:00 so I can rest?”
  
• “Can you pick up the groceries this week?”
  
• “Can you take Dad to his doctor’s appointment on Tuesday?”
  
• “Can you prepare dinner twice this week?”

People sometimes want to help but don’t know what the caregiver needs. Give them something specific to do.

RESPITE CARE: EVERY CAREGIVER NEEDS A BREAK

Respite care provides temporary relief from caregiving responsibilities. Depending on the person’s needs and available programs, respite may be provided:

• In the person’s home
  
• Through family or friends
  
• Through a home-care agency
  
• At an adult day program
  
• Through community organizations
  
• Through certain veterans’ programs
  
• Through short-term residential or facility-based care
  

You do not have to wait until you are completely exhausted before using respite care. A few dependable hours each week can provide time to sleep, attend medical appointments, exercise, attend worship, spend time with friends or family, pursue a hobby, sit quietly—or simply do nothing.

Rest does not have to be earned. Schedule respite before you reach your breaking point.

TAKE CARE OF YOUR PHYSICAL HEALTH

1. Keep Your Medical Appointments
Do not repeatedly cancel your appointments because the person you care for needs you. When visiting your healthcare provider, tell them, “I am a caregiver.” Discuss your sleep, stress level, mood, nutrition, blood pressure, medications, and any new physical symptoms.

2. Get Enough Sleep

Interrupted or inadequate sleep can affect mood, concentration, judgment, and physical health. If caregiving responsibilities repeatedly prevent adequate sleep, additional assistance may be necessary.

3. Eat Regularly
Try not to survive on coffee, snacks, and convenience foods. Keep simple, nutritious foods readily available.

4. Move Your Body
Exercise doesn’t have to mean spending an hour at a gym. Walking, stretching, chair exercises, gardening, dancing, or short periods of activity throughout the day can help.

5. PROTECT YOUR EMOTIONAL AND SPIRITUAL HEALTH
Caregiving affects more than the body. It affects the mind and spirit. Give yourself permission to experience your emotions. You can love someone deeply and still feel frustrated, exhausted, angry, lonely, or sad. Those feelings do not erase your love.

• Prayer or meditation
  
• Journaling
  
• Counseling
  
• Caregiver support groups
  
• Spending time outside
  
• Listening to music or reading
  
• Maintaining friendships
  
• Attending worship services
  
• Talking with someone you trust
  
• Scheduling regular quiet time
  

Do not allow caregiving to completely erase the person you were before becoming a caregiver. You are still a person with needs, relationships, interests, dreams, and a purpose of your own.

WHEN SELF-CARE IS NOT ENOUGH

Self-care is important, but there are times when self-care alone is not enough. Talk with a physician, counselor, mental health professional, or other qualified healthcare professional if you experience:

• Persistent sadness or depression
• Severe anxiety or feelings of hopelessness
• Severe sleep disturbances
• Inability to perform normal daily activities
• Increasing reliance on alcohol or drugs
• Uncontrolled anger
• Significant changes in appetite or weight
• Physical symptoms that concern you
• Feeling unable to continue safely providing care

IF THERE IS A CRISIS

If you are thinking about harming yourself or someone else, or believe you can no longer safely care for yourself or the person receiving care, seek immediate assistance.

In the United States, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department when there is immediate danger or a medical emergency.

FAMILY AND FRIENDS: DON’T WAIT FOR THE CAREGIVER TO ASK

If you know someone who is providing ongoing care, don’t simply say, “Call me if you need anything.” Instead, offer something specific:

• “I’m bringing dinner Tuesday. What time should I come?”
• “I’ll stay with Dad Saturday afternoon. Take a few hours for yourself.”
• “I’m going grocery shopping. Send me your list.”
• “I’ll take Mom to her appointment this week.”

Also remember that the caregiver may need someone to listen. Sometimes caregivers don’t need advice. They need someone who will hear them without judging them.

EMPLOYERS: CAREGIVERS MAY NEED SUPPORT AT WORK

Millions of people balance employment with family caregiving responsibilities. When appropriate, employers can consider options such as:

• Flexible scheduling
• Adjusted work hours
• Remote or hybrid work when the position permits
• Employee Assistance Programs
• Temporary workload modifications
• Leave options
• Cross-training staff
• Providing information about community caregiving resources

Eligible employees of covered employers may also qualify for job-protected leave under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) for certain qualifying circumstances, including caring for a spouse, child, or parent with a serious health condition. Eligibility requirements apply, so employees should contact their employer’s Human Resources department or the U.S. Department of Labor for additional information.

RESOURCES THAT MAY HELP

Caregiver resources vary according to age, disability, diagnosis, income, insurance coverage, military or veteran status, and geographic location.

Area Agencies on Aging
Local agencies may provide information about respite, meals, transportation, caregiver support, and other community programs.

Veterans Programs
Veterans and their caregivers may qualify for VA programs that provide caregiver education, support, respite care, home-based services, or other assistance.

Medicare GUIDE Model
For qualifying individuals living with dementia, Medicare’s Guiding an Improved Dementia Experience (GUIDE) Model provides coordinated dementia care and caregiver support through participating organizations. Services may include caregiver education and training, care navigation, access to support, connections with community resources, and respite services for eligible participants.

Support Groups
Diagnosis-specific and caregiver support groups can help caregivers connect with people experiencing similar challenges.

Home-Care Services
Professional home-care services may help with personal care, companionship, supervision, meal preparation, respite, and other activities, depending upon the individual’s needs and available services.

CREATE YOUR CAREGIVER BACKUP PLAN

Every caregiver should have a backup plan before an emergency occurs.

Do not wait until you are sick, hospitalized, or completely exhausted to determine who can step in.

A MESSAGE TO CAREGIVERS

After decades of working in healthcare, I have watched caregivers pour everything they have into caring for the people they love. I have also seen what can happen when caregivers continually place themselves last.

You may be the person everyone depends on. You may be the one who keeps the appointments, remembers the medications, prepares the meals, manages the household, answers the telephone, handles the emergencies, makes the decisions, and reassures everyone that everything will be all right.

But there is one person you cannot afford to forget: YOU.

You cannot continually pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself does not mean that you love the person you are caring for any less. Getting respite does not mean that you are abandoning them. Asking for help does not mean that you have failed. Resting does not mean that you are lazy.

It means that you recognize something important: the caregiver’s health matters too.

Do not wait until your body forces you to stop. Do not wait until exhaustion becomes illness. Do not wait until frustration becomes resentment. And do not wait until you reach your breaking point before asking for help.

Give yourself permission to rest. Give yourself permission to receive help. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself. Because taking care of the caregiver is part of taking care of the person you love.

SELF-CARE ISN’T SELFISH. IT’S SURVIVAL.

TLC Home Health, Inc.

Helping families care for the people they love while remembering that caregivers need care too.

Educational Disclaimer

This information is provided for general educational purposes and is not intended to diagnose or treat any medical or mental health condition or replace advice from a qualified healthcare professional. If you have concerns about your physical or mental health, consult an appropriate healthcare professional.